[CR]"Bike of Death" / Estate Wagon -- foolish drillium, attempt at humor

(Example: Framebuilders:Cecil Behringer)

To: classicrendezvous@bikelist.org
Date: Thu, 30 Sep 2004 12:42:01 -0400
From: "Thomas E Ward" <tom.ward@juno.com>
Subject: [CR]"Bike of Death" / Estate Wagon -- foolish drillium, attempt at humor

Dear List, Recent light-hearted threads include:

"Bike of Death" ---
>>Fork: Lambert
>>Stem: AVA drilled
>>Seatpost: Weyless
>>Brakes: Dia Compe w/Lever Extensions
>>Rims: Fiamme Ergal
>
> & "Estate Wagon" for bike transport:
>
>
>Please tell me of these estate cars; I mean laden with bikes! Is it what we=20
>call a station wagon or is it a unique and regal devise specific for large=20
>volume cycle transport?
>
> Yours in Estate Car Interest,

Well, the ultimate Estate Wagon--but figuratively, not literally--is, of course, a funeral coach, AKA a hearse, or "Professional Car" as they are also euphemistically known. Think of the possibilities for bike transport! However, makes for a potentially depressing (though unique and regal) "sag wagon".

I used to own (back in the '90s) a 1963 Cadillac hearse, more properly a '63 Superior Crown Royale Laundaulet. Fun for the young, but I'm older than that now! It was good for hauling around bass amps and drum kits (still would be) and my bands were all of the early-'60s revival sort, so it wasn't entirely inappropriate. Might contain moments of fun as a support vehicle, even now, but at eight miles to the gallon--and the likely annoyance to the neighbors--I'd no longer wish it upon myself--nor be willing or able pay the insurance (here in Manhattan). The key attributes of the Coach's glory, however, are fancy curtains and gleaming Landau bars. My good-sport mum stitched up some pleated curtains in a period nubby black and tan and silver-metallic-thread yardage, though I suppose pale purple velvet is traditional. This all may suggest pipe-organ dirges rather then the fun of poking about the french countryside, but imagine the quantity of framesets and bikes Norris could bring back from France this autumn in a stretched 1963 Cadillac chassis! The ambulance or limousine would be just as good. Yes, let's make it a cheerier, white '59 limousine--perhaps Austin Princess or Roll--to bring it back (full circle) to the UK, and to lessen the chance of spearing our cycle-club mates or team members with a tailfin....

Where is that modified Jag from "Harold and Maude"? Best of both worlds, so-to-speak. Shorter wheelbase, but still with the landau bars and curtains.... A "thinking mans" Munstermobile.

Vis-a-vis the B. of D.--let's call it "Extremely Dangerous Bicycle" or RRP for "rather risky propostion": don't forget the Drillium phenomenon. I enjoy a bit of drillium now and then, both the factory and non-factory kind. But isn't there a special category of non-factory, beyond-the-pale, just-plain-foolish drillium? When you say drilled AVA stem, I assume you mean hollow. Let us not drill it further!

I think going too far with drilling brake calipers -- or levers --qualifies as "foolish drillium". The look, however, does have a certain rakish quality that can charm the eye and may have imparted a racer yet another small psychological factor in the contest. Like if you had enough drillium you could just psych out the competition!

Yours in Odd Transport (and duralumin doughnuts).

Tom Ward New York City (by way of a Californian childhood)