When my future wife Barb was dating me, and describing me to her folks, her mother advised "... Maybe if you had wheels? ..." She may not know the intricacies of our devot... hobby, but she did get me that 'gas pipe' Schwinn Paramount for $20 at a yard sale (boot sale to you folks on the continent). It wasn't, but she tries! She complained about the Westminster swap meet being on Valentines Day, so I offered to bring her along. She let me down gently by allowing that I might have a better time if she didn't get in the way. I guess Tom's 'truth' might be the same for me. I'm more upset by her lack of faith about my 'not very hilly' rides! Happy trails,
Dan Artley in Parkton, Maryland
Archive-URL: http://search.bikelist.org/
So a package came in the mail today, flat and wide, well secured by tape, requiring several strokes from the trusty Swiss army knife to remove the contents. And what do I see, but a NOS 50 tooth bisStronglight 99 chainring. Oh Joy, oh rapture! I held it in it's swiss cheesy glory, reveling in it's airy, delicate structure, my mind already a-whirl, picturing long leisurely rides down shaded country lanes, happily twirling this ring on a fine lugged steel steed, myself somehow magically slender and black haired again. I slowly emerged from my meditation to see She Who Must be Obeyed looking at me oddly.
"Look dear!" I squealed. "A chain ring!" "Terrific", said she, "why am I looking at it?"
Crushed, deflated and demoralized, I slunk from her presence. Oh my darling, after so many years of patient evangelizing, still you're soul is dark and closed to the true path. Still you think of a bicycle as merely a tool for recreation, instead of a holy metaphor for all that is right and beautiful if it is lugged steel, or the embodiment of evil and decadence if not. Still are you more concerned that your jersey matches your bar tape as opposed to being happily mesmerized by a chain ring with 108 holes in it, declining to agonize over whether the bolt holes should or should not count in the count, or what value to assign to the hole with the over shift peg in it. No, instead you ask "What good do the holes do?"
In truth I always knew this sad day would come. For never did the beloved object respond favorably as I read to her from my dissertation on the relative merits of the flat fork crown versus the sloping, or that heretical hybridization, the semi sloping. Just to annoy me, she would fall asleep as the second hour of the recital started. But never before had I despaired of being some day able to bring her to the true faith.
But now I can deny the truth no longer: she does not love bikes as I do, nor can I hope to convert her. But I will be big about it: I will understand that due to some defect in her genetics or upbringing she is incapable of ascending to the true heights of appreciation, where counting the number of holes in a chain ring is not an act of lunacy, but a simple ritual of devotion. As an act of charity, we will remain together. After all, who else will I get to stoke the tandem?
Tom Adams, broken hearted but unbowed, in Manhattan, KS USA
Dump her.
Craig "been there done that" Montgomery Tucson